I have been absent for a couple  months…here’s why!

Some events happened that forced me to review the question “what do you want to do when you grow up?”.  I always answer “I don’t know, I never want to grow up.”And I still haven’t.

But I always grow – sideways and every way possible.

here’s the skinny

My landlord had been harassing me (a life issue nobody should put up with). It was making work impossible. The last couple years was about discovering a happy balance of mental and physical health. There were some very serious health issues to take care of. As I overcame these life obstacles, life pursuit started to come to the forefront. In fact life in general has became a priority.

Now I live on the edge in many ways. But drastic change calls for drastic measures. I am happy when I’m exploring. Perhaps I’m in my true element.

I’m generally pretty darn green and live a non consumptive lifestyle. I consider myself a minimalist and non-conformist. I often tell my friends all I need is my guitar, car and comput-ar (cooking, reading, traveling and nature are nice too). I realize the car isn’t that green but I work it into a pretty green life and Canada is a very large country.Things don’t give me a lot of satisfaction – my friends, family and blogging community do.

It’s my purpose to share my life experiences to help other’s learn and grow and to reduce suffering and struggles  – I won’t be apathetic.

So………….

• I stopped blogging
• I reduced my information intake (including reducing my feeds)
• I stopped twittering and minimized computer use
• I gave my landlord 30 days notice
• I sold the majority of my stuff (and I’m already a minimalist)
• I decided to pursue life and observe blogging from the sidelines

In short…I have various life issues that I can share with the world and I want to take the steps to put these things in place. I wanted to review how and why I blog. To take the time and focus on blog quality not quantity.

I have experienced life issues such as adoption and adoption reunion that I want to write about.It was time to take the plunge. My eBook on adoption reunion is finally in the works after 16 years (since my birth family reunion).

I am also interested in alternative living and have many ideas that will reduce our global impact. I wanted to live various alternative lifestyles and practice what I preach in a more active way, so I’ve gone mobile.

I’m traveling across Canada in both directions, visiting my family in Moncton, New Brunswick and friends scattered all over. In the winter I will visit my daughter, friends and family in Europe while seeking out alternative lifestyles and projects along the way – I call it The Yurtopia Project and I will blog about it. This includes:

• simple living in my typical minimalist style
• visiting meditation retreats and places with humanitarian people
• couch surfing, house-sitting and various creative methods of finding lodging
• camping and sleeping in my car (one reason I kept it to keep warm and safe)
• woofing (working on organic farms) and volunteering for socially responsible projects
• visiting with friends and family

live life

It’s also important to spend your time living – sitting behind a desk and writing won’t create the kind of real experiences and stories. Anyone can read a story and research information but to live it….that’s another story.

Reading information from the web and learning ideas from the news, television, books, articles, web content and various forms of information is one directional and has a habit of creating a one way flow – information overload.

We need to stop information intake to create new experiences (or at least limit it sometimes).

a funny thing happened along the way

Guess what! As soon as I started my journey at the end of March – life happened.

And things changed. While selling my stuff, I met a very special person right away. And things changed again. Suddenly my plans needed adjustment because this connection was a life changing event. We come from two different worlds but…sparks flew and will continue to grow into an everlasting flame.

Now I needed the tools to get things going. I had to fix my laptop and car to get mobile. I needed to have a more minimal attitude. I converted my little car into a camper. I needed to make sure I could eat, sleep, blog and most importantly (wink) play guitar.

My friends needed help to fix up their house before they sold it – and I stepped up to plate. Helping them for the first half of both May and June. This delayed things. Getting my computer functioning (and converting to Linux, since I want to promote community living) was a challenge. Getting internet access has proved to be more challenging but I’m finally on top of things.

In between I visited a vipassana meditation center for an 11 day silent retreat – another life changing event and something that I highly recommend. I wanted the tools to keep a clear mind and remain calm. I met amazing people, yep even though we didn’t talk for 11 days, including a singer/songwriter and someone going through adoption reunion. What are the odds!

Then more life happened…out of the blue, my parents offered me a newer model car, well taken care of from a friend. Typically my relationship is strained and my parents let me struggle and learn on my own (a good thing most of the time), so I was very overwhelmed with the kind gesture. The newer 2002 fully loaded, standard transmission Toyota Corolla is amazing but it delayed my already challenging journey.

Finally, I’m on the road. But the first 3 months have been amazing. Now I’m living the dream. I’m in Moncton visiting my birth family and interviewing them for my eBook. I miss my soul mate back in Toronto. I am looking forward to the journey though. It will be amazing to see what transpires.

I will be writing on a frequent basis, but spreading it out across my blog network and focusing on life – green alternative living, coping with life, living on a dime, the blogging life and a few personal interests like a cribbage book (another kinda living).

I’ll share it all from simply stephen and add some tips and tools along the way. Expect to see a lot more consistency and a little less in the way of content. It will all relate to simply stephen in some way. My time will be spent living the 4 hour work week and focusing on life. Something all of us deserve to do.

Oh…and btw, I missed you guys.

Warning! My blog will challenge you to be more, give more, live fearlessly, take more chances and show up in the world unstoppable, daring and bold.

Without further ado, visit Tess for my article i’m not hungry, i’m starving and make sure to follow her on Twitter and subscribe to the feed to help you live a bold life.

I’ve also been streamlining my blogging and social media process. The bulk of the changes are done but content, graphics and various tasks remain. I managed to make my November target.

The concept:

1. create a standard, clean simple look and function
2. provide short quick articles and cut out the fat – reduce your information overload
3. direct you with value added resources and activities to expedite your needs
   • abc’s – a glossary of key terms
   • two cents – taxi your way to simple resources, sites and suggestions to learn, save time & money.
   • simple siments – your keys to take life one simple step further with our 5-25 minute simple assignments sprinkled throughout the site.
   • community - with dedicated exclusive private twitter profiles (I still encourage you to comment and will have a ticket system in place for directly contact)
   • exclusive free eCourse – we like to simplify, so we want to teach you how it can benefit you – before the end of December 09
   • value added products -  available for purchase in the new year
4. ensure timely, regular quality posting and interactions
5. find the best green solutions & walk the talk too (this can be a challenge)
6. Incorporate my life purpose in the sites – “to help others cope with life obstacles”

The above list is almost complete, while in Beta for the next couple of months expect to see changes and implementation along with a lot more interaction. There are still some adjustments to be made.

So without further ado, the following main sites are a part of the simply stephen network, content and guidance – filtering the noise to keep things simple. Why complicate things?

Cope With Life (CWL)- from an everyday guy talking about stuff he’s been through – experiences and solutions to help you cope with your life obstacles….topics include adoption, anger & stress, child abuse, clutter, debt, depression, divorce, parenting, work & more…

Have A Niche Day (HAND)- Passive income with niche marketing… simplified. Learn what tools and skills you really need to cut out the fat. I hope you enjoy and “Have A Niche Day!”.

Tools For Twits (TFT)- Twitter Tool Reviews in 140 words or less…with a dash of feedback on everything Twitter.

Living On A Dime (LOAD)- simply stephen focuses on the green simple side of things but here the focus will be on savings and frugal living. *site to be launched early 2010

Yurtopia Project – Hmm, sounds like a fruit drink doesn’t it? I’d keep you in suspense but instead, will let you know that Yurtopia is my raison d’etre and is not yet active. For over a decade, I’ve been researching sustainable living. The goal, to develop a large scale, grassroots housing project in rural Ontario for  under $50,000. The houses – affordable, sustainable, recycled material, comfortable, off-grid and so much more…please contact if you are interested in further details and/or would like to participate in the project. *site to be launched early 2010

There are several mini sites which can be accessed from the blogroll. You will notice new ones popping up all the time.

That’s it…I’ve put it all on the line now. My life in full public view, especially with CWL & Yurtopia. Real events, dramas and passions brought to you up close and personal. I hope you will enjoy the new sites. Your feedback and “extra eyes” is always appreciated. Please have a good look around the sites and use the resources and tools provided to get you where you need to go. Thanks as always for you patronage.

So simply stephen is now in beta mode and we are tweaking for the next few weeks. This is time consuming and technical issues take from quality of writing and community interaction, something I would like to do more of…oh, and I’d like to get out of the house too.

Have a look around and slowly you will see some little additions including other sites that we have started to brand as part of the network. All these sites, simple styling with an attempt to keep all things simple.

I will be trying to write simple posts that are quick and easy to read. I’m hoping to provide a little bit of interaction and assistance to you with each posting as well. This will take a while to perfect but you may see me splitting articles into a series, so that you can benefit from the exercises and don’t have a large chunk of info to digest.

We appreciate your patience. Our posting regiment has been a little bit thrown off but new posts and a few more posts than usual are around the coming…not to mention some great tools, an eCourse and a few more resources for you. Till the next time.

Take the Time

I make sure that every day involves a bit of time for myself. And every week I try to connect with friends and family, especially my daughter. I share my trials and tribulations. I play my guitar, read, enjoy nature, good food and make sure that I am looking after the things that count.

Every August long weekend, I attend an annual event with a group of friends at a beautiful cottage in Ontario’s Muskoka region. It is one of the highlights of the year for me. Not because of the beauty and not because of the time away from everyday life but because of the company of friends (that I may not get a chance to see very often because of proximity and schedules). This connection and reconnection to people that are important to me is something I look forward too. It makes me realize how special our time is.

This summer was so much more. Just after my special weekend, my daughter arrived from England to spend some of her summer vacation with me. Though I talk with her every week, I had not seen her for 26 months, an eternity. When she arrived it was a dream come true. I knew why I was here and enjoyed every moment spent. We visited more friends and family, all the time wishing it would never end. The memories and time spent can’t be taken away from me but things that I own can disappear in a flash (and in the past they have). You can take them away but can’t take away the love and memory.

After a wonderful highlight of time spent with my daughter, I had a surprise last minute visit from my brother, whom I hadn’t seen for several years. Again, distance and other circumstances keep us apart. That instant connection, the same one I had with my daughter, quickly melted away the time that we had missed. I also attended a wedding celebration of my oldest friend, who has lived in Korea for almost 10 years and out of province for most of 2 decades. It was great to meet his bride and spend time with his family (and he has a little one on the way). To top the summer off, my sister will be getting married in a few weeks. What a summer.

It’s Fleeting

Now if that doesn’t top the cake, to hit home just how important the things in life are – a close friend has a relative that needs to undergo heart surgery. Sounds important doesn’t it. The perspective should make you think about what you can replace and what you really need. People and events can not be replaced.

In true synchronicity, Tess over at The Bold Life, submitted a video posting on being grateful. Take the time to view it and realize that all we have is today. The people around us and the beauty in the world is enough to be thankful for. It’s not the things, it’s the things in life that are important.

What’s important in your life? Do yourself a favour. Take the time!

During this season the birds and animals forage, they raise young and teach them how to survive. These young explore their surroundings, frolic, play and rest. The plants grow, flower, seed and provide nutrients for the soil. It is all part of the process.

Learn and Connect

We could all take a lesson from this. We can connect with our children too – teach and play. We can also learn from them, it should not be one directional. We can share time and play with our partners.  We can learn to relax and enjoy life and our surroundings, take time to smell the roses, something we should practice all year round. We can explore and visit – friends new and old. We can rest. It’s time to release your inner tortoise.

This simple process of slowing down and taking time off allows us to continue for the long winter ahead. It connects us with the earth and with people. Every summer, I have specific events and times that I go to. It is precious to spend time with friends to enjoy the outdoors. Connection. It gives me time to reflect and realize what is really important and why I exist. It helps us get strong.

Make a Pledge to Slow Down and Take Time Off

So, I hope each of you will, if you haven’t already, set some time aside and do something (or perhaps don’t do anything). Here’s a simple suggestion list:

1. Spend quality time with a friend or family member
2. Learn something new
3. Go out and explore
4. Watch your children, grandchildren or friends children play (and go play with them)
5. Read a good book
6. Get off the computer and be active
7. Volunteer or help a neighbour
8. Sit out in the backyard or at the cottage and watch the world go by
9. Cook and share a good meal, hopefully fresh and local
10. Release your inner tortoise

I’m Slowing Down

For the next couple weeks, until the middle of August, I will be visiting with family and friends. My daughter is visiting, to share time and enjoy life. I generally go at a slow pace anyway, life is too short, not to enjoy it. I have however, scheduled a couple regular posts to keep you informed and share with you, but it is unlikely that I will communicate with social media and email on a regular basis, if at all. You may also have noticed less activity on the site, on Twitter and via email.

Why? Because I’ve already slowed down – my inner tortoise is in full force. I’m enjoying the garden, my guitar, good food, fruit picking, time with friends and the process of summer. I hope that all of you will slow down and take some time off too!

Please share with me what your tortoise is doing.

In general, I try to create quality over quantity. Time gets the better of me, but rather than follow the hoards, I prefer to take my time and create something worth sharing. There are lots of things that I want to get done, but my philosophy is to get it done right!

Post Something You Can Be Proud Of

There are many blogs and websites, large and small, where the postings are consistent and provide an accurate and strong measure of what they are trying to say. This is not by chance. Chris Guillebeau from The Art of Nonconformity (AONC) uses the term “Be Remarkable”. If you are not than it is not worth doing. The strong majority are simply mediocre. The same is true of products – if you buy quality, it lasts and you don’t need to keep replacing it. In the long run it saves you more (and most of those quality green products save the planet too).

This doesn’t mean that every article is going to be a viral post that everyone loves. People have different needs, they could be reading when they are tired, the topic could be something they are not interested in.

If you stick with the premise of quality, you will build loyal followers that trust your content and advice. That’s why I create all my own content. It’s my blog. I verify. I gather my info from trusted sources, including a large portion from books and the library. I also formulate my own thoughts and ideas. Independent thought can take you to the next level in your mind and creative place.

Don’t Rush It

I was recently working on a post and was hoping to put it up this month. But I stopped myself. It wasn’t ready. My message had not been formulated to a standard that I could accept. There was more to say and ideas needed to be verified and tested. It wasn’t remarkable. So I set it aside. Just like food, if you rush preparing it, it will not taste as good. I am waiting to change the message and improve the quality. Rushing will not help me and I don’t want to leave a sour taste in your mouth. It’s like the fine bottles of wine aging in the picture above.

Quality and Standards mean you care

You may have noticed that I sometimes only put up one post a week. I have not yet put an email optin, free report or eBook. There are limited forms of monetization. That is because I am concerned with the quality. I want you to benefit from it. I want to provide solutions and evoke thought. I do not want to sell to you like an internet marketer (or any marketer for that matter). I care and will do those things when I am certain they will meet your needs.

They will be different than the norm. They will be as green as possible. They may be local. They will be affordable (very affordable) in a world where everything is overpriced. They will inspire others to try the same. They will be informative, they will not carry pushy sales messages. They will be helpful. They will respect you and they will assist your goals and aspirations. I encourage each of you to do the same.

Quality of Life and Time with Loved Ones

My daughter will be visiting me at the beginning of August. I will dedicated the 2 weeks to my time with her. I will share the 90 Day Free Hugs Challenge with her. My regular Friday postings will still go up, but I will spend limited time on the computer during the first half of August. Why am I telling you this? Because it’s about quality. She lives far away, and I don’t get to spend a large quantity of time with her. But when I do, I spend quality.

I won’t be going to amusement parks and entertaining her. I’ll be sharing with her. I’ll be connecting and learning from her. I’ll be visiting friends and family. I speak with her almost every week consistently, sometimes for hours at a time – we talk, play games, sing, write, read, dream and learn. That quality beats out everything.

So before you worry about how much of something you have. Think about what standard it is. That quality matters more in the long run than anything else. Without it you have nothing.

Are You Ready?

We often hear about a company downsizing but a more recent phenomenon is downsizing your personal life. With the recent Garbage Strike in Toronto, global recession and substantial talk about climate change it is clearly time to think about simplifying. Downsizing your possessions will help bring about a clarity in your life.

We All Have Choices

When a company is downsizing, the reasons are often motivated by lack of sales or a change in  markets. The downsizing often comes fast and hard. It hurts. Many people are devastated when cutbacks happen and there is a negative ripple effect on the people that depend on them. But when an individual decides to downsize it is clearly because change is happening. And change is good. Right! When you make a choice to downsize it is a choice to save money, simplify your stuff (and hence your time), create a lighter footprint and learn to grow as a person.

Enjoy the Process

Downsizing is a difficult thing. It takes time to build up the courage. It is something that I would encourage everyone to do. It is much easier if you do it in baby steps. And it is much easier to do this voluntarily then to be forced to downsize because your situation has changed. If you learn to make it an active part of your life it is actually something that you can enjoy.

When I first started downsizing almost 15 years ago, it was because I was moving out of country. Initially, I got rid of some stuff, maybe 10% and stored the rest in my parents basement or with friends. When I returned, I discovered that most of the stuff was not missed. I had not been using it and it served no purpose. Packing and shipping it was costly, items could get damaged and the space needed to maintain all the stuff was also a factor (not to mention a burden on finance).

Light Bulb!

If only I had the stuff I used, loved and needed; life would be so much easier. And it is. One can make a little bit of money selling the things. Costs are cut dramatically. Moving is a much less involved process. One can enjoy the things they have more. Cupboards have space. Life has less clutter and it takes less time to maintain everything. It also changes  personal spending habits – stuff doesn’t make you happy. An abundant life can be spent doing things instead of acquiring things. Reduced income to maintain a lifestyle is a catalyst for freedom.

Some Lessons and Habits

I learned how to set up a new place quickly with all the things I needed. Furniture is the easiest thing to part with and replace. I have some basic items but I know how to find quality or purpose filled furniture, wherever I go and often for free. I can feel good about donating it when I move on. Just like spring cleaning, I make a regular habit of getting rid of stuff. It’s easier now so I can do it ruthlessly. I don’t suggest a beginner take this approach unless drastic measures are called for. Take your transition slowly over time.

I also learned the true value of my time and the things that I wanted (or should I say wanted to be doing). I kept my guitar, it offers me hours of pleasure and serenity. I kept a few memories, including photos and childhood mementos. I removed old equipment, stopped buying gadgets, simplified to a laptop (though I’m back to a desktop & laptop for other reasons). I reduced massive amounts of paper, magazine and books (hint these are bulky, hard to move, get damaged easily and can always be replaced). I changed my wardrobe to the bare essentials.

Where do I start?

The hardest items are the sentimental ones which often include books or music. For real pack rats things that they perceive as having value are also hard to let go. These things represent us. Instead of removing them, perhaps rethink it’s cost and usage.

Are you ready to just have one big MP3 portable jukebox for all of your music? If you could sell your 5 stereos and only use MP3′s would the sale buy you a single, perhaps portable player that you could use anywhere and meets your needs. Think of the space, the money and the payback.

Books can actually be a little harder. Start with the books that you know you won’t read again and treat yourself to a new book purchase by trading them in at a used bookstore for credit. You get something for nothing. Text books are often hard for some people…you are finished school now, they can go. In a previous post How to Simplify your Bookshelf I concentrated on this because it is challenging to reduce your bookshelf but is a prime example of how you can downsize in steps.

Clothes can be slowly eliminated and gives those that love clothing a chance to get a new wardrobe every once in a while by getting rid of the old and in with the new. Photos can be scanned and saved, duplicates thrown away and those fuzzy pictures…guess what, you don’t need them. There are so many ways to downsize. Start now and take it in little chunks at a time. You would be amazed at the free space, time and abundance of living you create and will find that you can save costs by not having to maintain certain things.

So give your items a rethink. Talk it out with friends. Hire an organizer. Donate. Free up the money and space. Downsizing your personal life will offer you a giant reward, unlike the punishment of being downsized.

There are a group of avid mountain climbers that set a goal to climb the 7 summits, the tallest mountain on each of the 7 continents.  Climbing the summit is about reaching your goals and dreams. Each of us can reach our 7 summits, you can climb any mountain and you get a view that you have never seen anywhere else!  I apologize in advance if this post is filled with too many analogies and cliches, but they are designed to encourage and motive.

So what motivates these people? Why do they do it? Though the obvious answer is a love for mountain climbing, a more truthful one, a drive and desire to challenge and achieve. To push boundaries and barriers. To achieve greatness. To try new things and learn new skills. Though seemingly self serving each of these individuals have lessons to teach. In climbing they inspire and can share the secrets of each climb – quite unselfish.

Each of us has a mountain that we want to climb

Some of us are at the bottom of the mountain, while others are close to the peak. Without first making the decision to climb our mountain, we will never reach the summit, let alone 7. This posting is meant to be poignant in the hopes each of you chooses a life goal and discovers value in doing so. Invoke your change and define your summit. When you have completed your peak, share the results and move on to the next challenge. Big or small, don’t be afraid to set lofty goals and attain them one baby step at a time. So reach for the sky, but don’t forget to keep your feet on the ground.

I encourage you all to share this posting with not only the ones you love and cherish but with everyone to create a dominoe effect and spawn excellence. I also request that you share your story and goal with everyone and comment below…then pass it on.

Are you climbing your Mount Everest?

Oh, just so you know, there are so many mountains I want to climb. My immediate mountain is to create & grow a sustainable network of green, ethical and motivational websites that will fulfil my life purpose of sharing knowledge and experiences along the way. My loftier goal is to implement an idea that I know will provide affordable, sustainable, green housing (and living) to the masses. Let me know what your summit is!

Comments are welcome and encouraged. If you liked this post, please to subscribe to the RSS Feed so we can keep you up to date. Our next post – How do you Eat an Elephant? Peaked (sorry) your interest.

The Finer Things in Life

The finer things in life include the laughter of children,
Playing natural and pure – oblivious to life’s tensions.
The wonders that our minds produce within,
Science, arts and human aspirations.
The beauty in our world is composed of grandiose design,
Mountains, lakes, rivers, plains, streams and oceans all.
Forever changing seasons of time,
Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall.
Oh, wonder holds our lives at bay,
And let us embrace each and every day.
Instead of obscuring our families and lands with our objectives,
We need to simplify our perspectives.
These things we should protect to stay alive,
Without them we would surely not survive.

simply stephen (April 2002) – dedicated to my daughter Sylvie

There are reasons to look at change and the beauty in our world. Our time is fleeting, but we need to consider the future for those we love – native people call this the 7th generation. We are here for everyone, not just ourselves. These are the reasons that I care. Please take the time to share your “raison d’etre”, if not in the comment field at least with the ones you love.

1. Clear all of your distractions and make a list of 50 things you would like to do…aim high. Maybe you want a University Degree -pu it on the list. If you want to climb Mount Everest – put it on the list.  If you want to learn how to play the zanfir – put it on the list. If you want to re-enact the Civil War – put it on the list. Okay, you get the point. The idea of creating this list is not to be silly, but rather to give yourself an idea of all the things you want to do. Then you can worry about how. Dream a little and then live a lot!
2. Have a focus…and see your goal. Plan backwards to reach it. If you just pick one thing on the list and aim to do it, you will have a better chance of success. Many people take aim and run around chasing 50 pigs in a pen. Pick on that one pig and zone in on it. What you will find is that eventually you will catch that pig and not a random one. This achievement should not be overlooked. The shortest distance is a straight line, so picking one pig and aiming for it is a straight line – a more simple approach.
3. Believing in that focus and that list is half the battle. If you believe you can do something, then you probably will. Looking for the solutions will remove the belief that you can’t do it and keep you on target.
4. The 60 second plan – decide what you want to change and from where to where! This is the crash course in change. It’s where you reach high and say I’m doing this but I want to do this! Step back right now and think of one thing you want to change. Then change it. When this has become a habit or you are on the road to success start another 60 second plan.
5. Don’t spend time thinking about it…just do it. Most of us have tendencies to analyze everything. We come up with obstacles, reasons for not being able to do something. We want to make sure it is the right choice. The problem is, we could spend years thinking like this. What is the obstacle – obviously it’s the time spent thinking and analyzing. So, stop analyzing and just do it – change your life.
6. Do it slowly, one step at a time (decide to focus on just one thing). You may have heard of the phrase baby steps, doing one little thing to get to the next thing. If you want to learn how to be an artist, you don’t start by painting the Cistine Chapel. You start by learning how to draw basic shapes and you expand it from there. As you get better at each step you progress. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
7. Get up 1 minute earlier every day! This is an addition to the point I mentioned above. If you want to buy yourself more time, by doing it gradually you will increase the chance to change your life. In 2 months you have an extra hour to get all those little things done. But you won’t have to feel the impact of setting the alarm an hour early. The minute will go un-noticed.
8. Change how you look at things. If you close your eyes, change will seem impossible. Opening them to the possibilities will bring you to a realization that there are different ways to achieve and you may have been putting an obstacle on the road. Be thankful for what you have. Adding a little bit of gratitude can make these changes more simple and put you in a frame of mind that is open and calm.
9. Start asking the right questions and ask them in the right places. If you want to learn about something it is important to know what you want to learn. To do this you need to ask questions that are relevant to the topic. The same is true in change. Asking what is relevant can be very enlightening. Make sure you ask the right person though. You wouldn’t ask an accountant questions about music, would you? What can I learn from this?  People that prosper are often ones that have failed many times but kept trying. Usually, as part of the process, they have reviewed their actions and learned from mistakes. So asking how will this help me has taken them to the next level and the change has happened, usually not overnight.
10. Book time out…just for you. That’s it, nothing more to say here. Taking time for yourself is a big step in making changes. It offers you a time to reflect, time to enjoy life and a moment to realize what you want in life and what changes you need to make. So take a minute or two every day to change your perspective on life and enjoy it.
11. Find your pillars of strength. In the previous post, I mentioned Soar with Your Strengths. Find out what your strengths are is something many of us have done, yet we still do all the things we are not good at in hopes of getting better. A more efficient choice would be to find pillars of strength elsewhere, a support group of key people. In social circles this could be family or friends. In business the key components of success might be an accountant or a sales person that can support your overall vision for your business. Take the pressure off and stop stretching yourself – find your pillars.

There are dozens of other ways to change your life. Keep your eyes peeled and you will discover them. Look for those precious gems and the changes will no longer be a mystery. If you want to change your life, there is only one person in the driver seat – you.

People don’t change – what a false statement! Most people really don’t change – but we have a habit of scrutinizing every detail and when we look at other people we only look at yesterday. You need to look at each day and thousands of days at that to see the real change. It’s not easy to do. Sometimes it happens so slowly we just don’t notice. So what do you want, the life you live or the life within.

Another overlooked view on change is what many refer to as the brick wall theory. You know, how do stop yourself from hitting a brick wall – stop doing it! Sounds obvious, but day after day, we hit brick walls, over and over. We are all guilty. We do the same thing. We make excuses and blame it on the circumstances – “oh, if that brick wall wasn’t there I wouldn’t keep hitting it!”. Reality check – it is not the circumstances that need changing, it’s your actions. Learn what the correct actions are and you will get the correct results.

A few years ago, I read a book called Soar with Your Strengths by Donald O. Clifton (Often thought of as the father of “strengths psychology”) & Paula Nelson (well known commentator on CNN & Today). This book was a gem and I still preach it to this day. One of the main premises “if you develop your strengths to the maximum, it becomes so great it overwhelms the weakness”. In other words, if you want to change your life, work on the things that you are good at, the ones you enjoy. You will find that you become so good at those things that the other skills are “overwhelmed” and of no consequence. It really does work.

One example in the book is a fable of 6 animals going to school – a duck, fish, eagle, owl, squirrel and a rabbit. The first day they go running….the rabbit is the stars and loves school. Next day they go swimming…and the rabbit sinks like a stone and almost drowns. So they double up on his swimming courses and take him out of running (imagine if they put him in flying class). He begins to resent school and is not doing the one thing he loves – running and jumping. The moral, to concentrate on what we do best – that is how we can change our lives and optimize the results.

Often, we are scared of the results, maybe even the success and joy we might achieve. Sometimes the things we desire, don’t fit into our partner’s lives. But not all changes have to be dramatic, however, if you don”t like the world you exist in, then a change is a good thing. And, it’s up to you to change it.

So remember not to sit there thinking change is impossible, but rather endless with ample chances if we remove the obstacles and focus. Learning how to focus and make those changes is a whole other step. But that’s another story…Change Your Life – Part II.